Hi this blog topic is Mother. I wasn’t the best daughter I was rebellious but I did not have a great mother. I listened to my own voice because hers wasn’t present and in my book I wrote about how she was mean how she told me lies and how she wanted me to be afraid of her. Sometimes I even feel like she wanted to ruin my life. I ran away from her. That is why when people say they are a momma’s boy or girl, I know that a mother and child relationship can be the worst relationship you’ll ever have. I know what a bad parent can do to you. If you have a great relationship with your parent. Praise God! Just to let you know I didn’t. I can’t stress to you enough that your relationship with your parents should be better than the one I had. My mom knows what she’s done to me but somehow I managed to become an adult without her and our relationship made me a survivor and a daughter who will never need another mother.
This blog post is about what I learned about relationships. I learned they are not easy. The way I learned this was simply looking at my family and realizing they didn’t understand me. They were always blinded by something , maybe wanting me to be a person I couldn’t be. I cared about my family but I finally had to let them go. They weren’t the best people for me. I’m glad I found Nashville and met truly wonderful people here who say I’m a good person. It seems everyone noticed this but my family. I loved them but I question if they loved me back. When dealing with your family everyone you have to be very careful. Those relationships are fragile. Treat them with respecet and kindness. I want to say I’m sorry I wasn’t better for you. I wish I was.
This title which is in my book The Girl with the Journal is all about your enemies. I found out my worst enemies were members of my own family. You must know that no one can totally defeat you except God. When I got mentally ill and had to go to the hospital nobody in my family came to see me except my mother. My own brother and sister didn’t even come see me. I lived in a town where no one seemed to care about me and I don’t want to go back to those memories because those were the worst of times. I learned how to be a very strong person from all the pain I had in my life. I’m not saying I’m invisible but now I know you can get through anything in life with God and sometimes God just might say”Enough!” No matter what you may be going through someone out there cares so don”t give up. I’ve got better people in my life now but the one you need to be concerned with the most is God put him before other people.
When your young you do so many crazy things and that’s exactly what I did “Crazy Things”. My family could have helped me but they didn’t. My mother could have tried to stop me but she couldn’t. They could have said this one word and I would have left him. That word is Cheating. I don’t know about you but that is just not my forte. Yep he was a cheater. I wasn’t. I’m glad I had that relationship because I fell in love but between me and God is what it was. You must remember that “You’ll shoot the moon, put out the sun when you love someone.” I know he cared about me but that didn’t make everything ok. Now looking back the only thing that made me the happiest was that I fell in love for the first time. To never have known the feeling of what that relationship was like is what I struggle with. Every teenager wants to be in a relationship. Well almost everyone and when you hit that age you go crazy. What I’m saying is it wasn’t worth it. I started having symptoms of depression. My feelings were overwhelming and they were taking a toll on my life. I got through everything and opened my arms back up to God but my biggest fear wasn’t losing my boyfriend or even my mind. It was losing my faith. Use this as a resource not to do what I did. Respect your youth.