Battle

This battle I fight it is not stronger than me I am the brave one.  To understand my book you have to understand me a little and just so you know I went through a tremendous battle in my life when I was  an young adult. I became mentally ill and it was horrible. A lot of it had to do with my relationship with a boy at the time. We were active and it sent me into a deep depression and also my mother got breast cancer. They say that mental illness is genetic. Someone in my family has it and isn’t coming forward. This disease is serious. It affects the way you think and act and you hear voices, you feel like your going crazy. There’s only one way I got better and that was God. No one else could do it. The doctors cared nothing about me and my mother knew that.  I never want to go back to hospital after hospital like I used to. I know one thing for certain is that it was then that God carried me. I was stronger than the battle.

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Crazy Love

I wrote Crazy Love about being very into a person. But that’s only the surface of what it’s about. Everyone one knows what you do when you are truly in love. You’ll shoot the moon, put out the sun when you love someone. That was me when I was in love with my first boyfriend. White guy, real skinny and very intimate. In other words me and him were very intimate. My family watched all this, just observing and laughing knowing that I was too young for this. But God has a way of taking what people meant for your harm and using it for your good. I took the risk of getting sick, getting cheated. on. Everyone at school knew and now that I look back I know they knew what was going on. My teachers were very nice to me though. They stuck with me but my family didn’t.

Race

A lot of heartbreak came into my life because I like people who are not of the same race as me.  I finally learned that it was jealousy from my family but I refuse to change because of them. That is why they are not in my life right now. My family got dealt with me because they were not for me. They were against me. I never met such horrible people as my family. They were my lesson. I still like and want that close relationship with someone who is well different from me. I guess it’s the intrigue. What you have to realize is that I can’t help it. That is just who I am. The funny thing is whenever I sell my book I am so afraid that people will get offended by Race but they don’t. No ones ever said a word about it. It’s as if they are saying that’s okay. I can’t help but smile at that.

Powerful

I can’t stress enough about how powerful The Girl with the Journal is. It is about some really tough situations. Consider this I wrote it when I was mentally ill in a hospital with nothing but a pen and a notepad. I needed help bad. I was crying out for help and I knew that if I was having such a hard time coping other people might be going through the same thing. I recognized how serious my mental illness was and how it was tearing me apart. I had no hope. I didn’t think I would get better but somehow I did. It was almost as if God was saying Tenika I need you to write this book. So I really do hope that all of you who are reading my posts will pick up your copy of The Girl With the Journal. Read the book! No Joking!

Enemies

Have you ever felt surrounded by your enemies and you had nowhere to turn. That is exactly how I felt with my family. They persecuted me then and they are persecuting me now. 1. My mother tried to throw her own daughters highschool diploma away. 2. They knew I was active with my boyfriend in highschool and wanted me to catch AIDS then didn’t visit me in the hospital. 3.They let my mother continue to kick me out in highschool and never talked to her or me about it. 4.My mother constantly changes my social security and address information on my credit report.5.They knew that I and somebody in my family was severely mentally ill and didn’t say a word about it. I am not here to do battle for god but to be used by god in his battles.  If I catch my family coming my way again I will call the cops on them! These all are serious things they did to me and they better not come my way because we have a rocky history that I will let authorities know about. This is why I suffer from depression.

Stare

You stare at me. Look at me. Do you know who I am?  This is all about older guys hitting on younger girls. I’m not saying  I agree with it, but I also don’t disagree with it. The real point here is that this girl won’t date any man. I wrote this book for young adults so I was expressing in Stare how they feel. They don’t don’t want to date older guys but I also question whether they want someone who is meant for them. What if whoever you or I was meant for wasn’t exactly who you planned would you still want them? I don’t mean to be harsh but I’m not a fool at all. This means if you do date someone older than you in today’s society that could be a big mistake. It wouldn’t be worth all the heartache. The girl is not a fool. She’ll stick to the rules until she see’s past a stare.

Fool

I am the one called the fool. The girl with the journal is about a love story and how blind I was at the time this relationship happened. What I learned from this relationship is it’s hard trusting guys and even girls. This relationship made me strong in a lot of ways because I knew if I could get through almost losing my life to someone who would lie and cheat on me I knew I could face other hard situations in life. Use anything hard you’ve had to go through in life and apply it to your situation. You should know that nothing is almost as hard as catching hundreds of diseases and risking the chance of you never having a normal life. So maybe I’m exaggerating. The guy wasn’t that bad. But I am still the one who played the fool.

Brother

One of my most cherished memories is writing Brother. I remember my brother growing up. He was always there for me. We were always together. He was the one person in my family who was a best friend to me and now I’m wishing  things could be like they used to be and I’m wishing I could see him. I told him I wrote this for him and he said. “Yeah brought a tear to my eye.” That made me smile. I bet everyone has that special person in their family who has been there for them and that’s the lesson I’ve learned from my brother is that your whole family won’t be against you. There may be some special people that care about you. They may just have a hard time showing it.  I miss my family terribly and I hope they realize I care. I hope someday we look back on all our memories and how blessed we were.

 

Boyfriend

In The Girl with the Journal I learned a lot of lessons from when I had a boyfriend. He wasn’t the best guy for me but at the time nothing could convince me otherwise. I learned that he cared about me more than my family did. I learned that some of the most special people in your life won’t be the people who are closest to you it will be people who are not your relatives. My family hated me, I mean absolutely hated me they watched me get treated bad in hospitals. But you  know I don’t remember my boyfriend ever coming to see me in the hospital either. He cared about me, he was afraid to show it though. He saved my life when my family wouldn’t.  I miss him a lot he was ordained to be my boyfriend by God and that’s enough for me. I hope I don’t make the same mistakes over again. I hope people learn from my writing and learn from The Girl with the Journal.

I Cry

I Cry was written about God. It’s about how he cries for you how he never gives up hope that you will come to him. I am a true believer and a strong one. Believe it or not I have believed in God my whole entire life. God taught me so many wonderful things in my life but what he taught me most of all is that I need him.  God never gives up on you and that’s the best thing about him. He wants to see you happy and with him you will do some amazing things in your life. Life is a wonderful gift but it can be so hard sometimes that you feel like giving up. God always has your back. I dare you to give him a chance.