A lot of heartbreak came into my life because I like people who are not of the same race as me.  I finally learned that it was jealousy from my family but I refuse to change because of them. That is why they are not in my life right now. My family got dealt with me because they were not for me. They were against me. I never met such horrible people as my family. They were my lesson. I still like and want that close relationship with someone who is well different from me. I guess it’s the intrigue. What you have to realize is that I can’t help it. That is just who I am. The funny thing is whenever I sell my book I am so afraid that people will get offended by Race but they don’t. No ones ever said a word about it. It’s as if they are saying that’s okay. I can’t help but smile at that.


I can’t stress enough about how powerful The Girl with the Journal is. It is about some really tough situations. Consider this I wrote it when I was mentally ill in a hospital with nothing but a pen and a notepad. I needed help bad. I was crying out for help and I knew that if I was having such a hard time coping other people might be going through the same thing. I recognized how serious my mental illness was and how it was tearing me apart. I had no hope. I didn’t think I would get better but somehow I did. It was almost as if God was saying Tenika I need you to write this book. So I really do hope that all of you who are reading my posts will pick up your copy of The Girl With the Journal. Read the book! No Joking!


Have you ever felt surrounded by your enemies and you had nowhere to turn. That is exactly how I felt with my family. They persecuted me then and they are persecuting me now. 1. My mother tried to throw her own daughters highschool diploma away. 2. They knew I was active with my boyfriend in highschool and wanted me to catch AIDS then didn’t visit me in the hospital. 3.They let my mother continue to kick me out in highschool and never talked to her or me about it. 4.My mother constantly changes my social security and address information on my credit report.5.They knew that I and somebody in my family was severely mentally ill and didn’t say a word about it. I am not here to do battle for god but to be used by god in his battles.  If I catch my family coming my way again I will call the cops on them! These all are serious things they did to me and they better not come my way because we have a rocky history that I will let authorities know about. This is why I suffer from depression.


You stare at me. Look at me. Do you know who I am?  This is all about older guys hitting on younger girls. I’m not saying  I agree with it, but I also don’t disagree with it. The real point here is that this girl won’t date any man. I wrote this book for young adults so I was expressing in Stare how they feel. They don’t don’t want to date older guys but I also question whether they want someone who is meant for them. What if whoever you or I was meant for wasn’t exactly who you planned would you still want them? I don’t mean to be harsh but I’m not a fool at all. This means if you do date someone older than you in today’s society that could be a big mistake. It wouldn’t be worth all the heartache. The girl is not a fool. She’ll stick to the rules until she see’s past a stare.


I am the one called the fool. The girl with the journal is about a love story and how blind I was at the time this relationship happened. What I learned from this relationship is it’s hard trusting guys and even girls. This relationship made me strong in a lot of ways because I knew if I could get through almost losing my life to someone who would lie and cheat on me I knew I could face other hard situations in life. Use anything hard you’ve had to go through in life and apply it to your situation. You should know that nothing is almost as hard as catching hundreds of diseases and risking the chance of you never having a normal life. So maybe I’m exaggerating. The guy wasn’t that bad. But I am still the one who played the fool.


One of my most cherished memories is writing Brother. I remember my brother growing up. He was always there for me. We were always together. He was the one person in my family who was a best friend to me and now I’m wishing  things could be like they used to be and I’m wishing I could see him. I told him I wrote this for him and he said. “Yeah brought a tear to my eye.” That made me smile. I bet everyone has that special person in their family who has been there for them and that’s the lesson I’ve learned from my brother is that your whole family won’t be against you. There may be some special people that care about you. They may just have a hard time showing it.  I miss my family terribly and I hope they realize I care. I hope someday we look back on all our memories and how blessed we were.



In The Girl with the Journal I learned a lot of lessons from when I had a boyfriend. He wasn’t the best guy for me but at the time nothing could convince me otherwise. I learned that he cared about me more than my family did. I learned that some of the most special people in your life won’t be the people who are closest to you it will be people who are not your relatives. My family hated me, I mean absolutely hated me they watched me get treated bad in hospitals. But you  know I don’t remember my boyfriend ever coming to see me in the hospital either. He cared about me, he was afraid to show it though. He saved my life when my family wouldn’t.  I miss him a lot he was ordained to be my boyfriend by God and that’s enough for me. I hope I don’t make the same mistakes over again. I hope people learn from my writing and learn from The Girl with the Journal.

I Cry

I Cry was written about God. It’s about how he cries for you how he never gives up hope that you will come to him. I am a true believer and a strong one. Believe it or not I have believed in God my whole entire life. God taught me so many wonderful things in my life but what he taught me most of all is that I need him.  God never gives up on you and that’s the best thing about him. He wants to see you happy and with him you will do some amazing things in your life. Life is a wonderful gift but it can be so hard sometimes that you feel like giving up. God always has your back. I dare you to give him a chance.


A lot of The Girl with the Journal was written about my family. How they treated me how they didn’t respect some of my decisions.  If any of you have ever felt rejected I know how that feels.  I trusted God with all those problems and eventually came to a better place in life. I wrote the people who are supposed to care the most, they don’t care at all. I felt betrayed by my family.  Because of them I almost lost my health my sanity my future. They never talked to me about anything and they knew what it was I was going through. They just watched.  Now they are gone and I know why it’s because they do not deserve to be in my life. Their inner life was a secret and sometimes I feel like I don’t know who they were. Were they good or bad? That is the question.


Sometimes there is nothing worst than a shallow person. It may seem like they don’t have any sense at all. Sense is what you need in life to get through life so being shallow might not get you very far. I wrote this about a boy I knew he went from here to there from girl to girl to the deep shadows of doing dark things. This boy would put on an act as if life was wonderful but he was a horrible person. The reason I feel so strongly about this boy is that he was hurting God. I dislike people who hurt God. I may take a stand someday and tell this boy what he should and shouldn’t do but I know he knew what he should be doing all along. I don’t believe that God shows favor to this shallow boy and if you ask why it’s because of all the pain he caused.